We all get to choose.
A month ago today I was just leaving the Island of Maui.
After living there for a year I had made the decision to pack up and create a new life in my forever stomping grounds, in the Zona Sur, in Costa Rica.
It was apart of the plan the entire time but everyday brings new twists and turns to the life path before us; just like the green vines and myriad of jungle that surrounds me: my essence is reaching towards the light, nourished by the elements.
Cultivating an acceptance to the path of least resistance is a personal devotion to the unknown.
I have been loosely planning this move for 6 years,
However it has been 17 years since i first came to Costa Rica as an adult.
Being born and raised in St.Petersburg, Florida, a beautiful gulf coast peninsular city , i was always a water baby.
At age 16 I picked up surfing and with help from friends we all developed into the sport together.
West coast Florida is by far known for its waves, with literal crystalline white sand beaches and Caribbean aquamarine healing waters, we grew up with mostly placid, baby pool beach days. Highly enjoyable, 364 days of sunshine, but we all wanted more waves.
With surfing we all got the travel bug. Taking trips to the East coast on the weekends was fun and some of the stories are hilarious. Sometimes getting skunked, as in the surf report not living up to the reality, we began wanting more for our hobby.
Thus began trips to Costa Rica.
Influenced by my one and only girlfriend who surfed at the time, Christie Carr (later to establish Urchin Surfboards: https://urchinsurfboards.com/) me and a few of the boys went for a trip when i was 19.
It was cheap to fly from Miami, so we drove my car down and in a short flight we arrived in central america.
My dad's best friend's son lived in a town called Esterillos Oeste so we had a jumping off point.
And for the duration of 5 weeks we stayed either in hostels or camped on the beach; scoring waves, exploring and making new friends and good memories.
The following year I went on a girls trip with Christie and Masha (sister of one of the boys from the year before.)
We traveled further south to Pavones. Christie almost immediately exclaimed "i'm going to live here one day"
Me kinda dazed and glazed just nodded in agreement.
Come the following year her and her now husband Pat, went on a trip down past Pavones to visit a yoga hostel where they were to be volunteering.
In perfect order, the owner was wanting to sell and one thing led to another...
Pat and Christie magically found someone who wanted to partner with them and buy the place.
Thus began the new era of the Yoga Farm (https://www.yogafarmcostarica.org/).
It was like a dream, especially to the rest of us from home- we were all so stoked for them and couldn't believe such things were possible!
For me, i wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to visit them in paradise. I was dating Pat's younger brother at the time and we popped down there their first year running the place.
And even though me and brother didn't last, I traveled down there almost every year since, staying at the Yoga Farm for more than a decade.
I considered it an open door policy.
For all of my 20's i didn't really stay still
With a bachelor's degree in anthropology, I had been working as a field archaeologist since i was 22 years old, which led to constant travel working for companies out of California I would be all over the mojave desert, cental valley, northern and southern CA, all over the state of Nevada, northern Utah, and Arizona. I worked in Florida a bit too.
Movement was a constant and i absolutely loved it.
During my off season, usually winter time, I would drive back to Florida (or fly) and visit home and then head straight down to The Yoga Farm.
I would volunteer for them but they were so nice and accommodating that i think they just liked me around because i feel like i couldn't have possibly worked enough to have received such a blessing of always staying there.
And so that set the foundation for me. I eventually clocked in more time there than anywhere else in those years.
And then as time moved on my focus began to shift. This pattern was getting old.
What started as a lifestyle dream come true, began weighing on me. I wanted to surf more and move around less.
Field work had taken me all over the states but I was sick of staying in hotels and even though I was considering it, i really wasn't about to jump into grad school.
I loved and still love archaeology, but I wanted out of California.
Years before covid I was becoming drawn to astrologers and their insight on what was to come:
"Astrology isn't something you believe in; you either know how to use it or not." a quote from OldWorldFlorida a youtuber i follow (https://www.youtube.com/@oldworldflorida).
And that of course proved to be true; granted I've studied a bit of how it all works, but no where near the vast understanding of the many astrologers that make this information readily available for novices such as myself (check out the revolutionary Pam Gregory: https://www.youtube.com/@PamGregoryOfficial).
However, no matter what the information gets thrown in your direction, it takes discernment to really know what is pertinent.
Through out my awakening I have developed my intuition to the point of trusting what i intuit to be correct or not.
I had been sniffing out a new life.
I had been working as a field archaeologist for 10 years and knew i needed to put some roots down somewhere.
I was 31 in 2017, and suddenly things were actually shifting.
I was turned onto the path of Hawaiian healing. I never had thought of studying healing practices before, however I became suddenly drawn to the knowledge.
My first retreat was on Shasta Mountain in California January 2017 and from that moment on i knew i need to go to Hawaii to study, and did so later that year in October.
I didn't know that i would become so involved, I just thought it would nice to know how to do Lomi Lomi, Hawaiian massage, and practice on friends and family.
However things were changing for me.
This budding reality steam rolled into the awakening of my soul to a whirlwind of manifestation which not without reluctance, forced me into the right job, that allowed to make enough money to build a house and switch careers to transition into living in Costa Rica.
This time period was a heightened time of understanding, listening, course correction and acceptance.
I knew there was an eminent meltdown of society because i was listening to trusted sources of information and my own intuition lead me to make the right decisions for my highest good.
Hard decisions, because at the time, i was freaking out and everyone else in my life was unaware of what was to come, and also didn't have a hard time ignoring me.
And it was not that i knew exactly what was about to happen, but I knew the fundamentals of what I needed to do to create the life i needed to feel safe.
So i knew i needed to grow food, and have my own water, in a trusted place, in a place I know i could survive on my own...
And i have been visiting and living in Costa Rica for months out of every year ever since I was 20 years old. Same town, same families, most of the same friends.
I feel like it took this inkling of information to come to terms with the fact that i wanted to establish myself further here in Costa Rica. I was in denial before, or i hadn't felt worthy; combo of the two. And then necessity prevailed.
In the summer that same year, in 2017, a friend made an offer: Buy this lot.
And it jus so happened I have exactly that amount of money.
It's not my dream location but it's a start. I'm in the neighborhood, and from this i can build upon an adult life.
An idea.
I can barely see it but it's there. I didn't know i wanted it but there i was on the precipice of understanding myself as an adult. I do want a family someday. I want to homestead and make the most out of my energy. Giving to the land, plugging into the community and being of service to the place that has held me throughout my 20's.
For the next couple of years i continued working as an archaeological field tech, getting a bit bounced around and run down, but i was making enough money to build my house, poco a poco.
In January 2020 I had finally accepted the path that had I been on since 2017, being drawn into this deeply held traditional practice of Lomi Lomi massage, i went on my 3rd retreat to learn from my teacher on Maui, as a refresher course, as a plan B; a backup for me .
Because by February 2020 i would move to Costa Rica.
Since my house was already in the works and I had planned to work for my friend's company, Surf With Amigas (https://surfwithamigas.com/) teaching surfing, I decided that doing body work would be my back up.
Covid hit right after i got to Costa Rica. I worked 2 retreats and that was it.
We were on lock down for a few months.
The astrologers were right. I'm so glad i listened. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world at that time.
Thought it was an eerie time, i was staying on track. i was putting my last bit of money into the house, while i was renting elsewhere.
We were surfing but it was technically against the law... i was staying afloat by cooking lunch at a cafe i created for a couple months. Things were pretty ok.
In that time i got my first doggy and named her Little Bear.
After a few months of lockdown i moved into my house. I had some walls, and i had just put my last bit of money in to securing the place. I had water, composting toilet, a friend gave me her old stove. I was going to survive.
That first night however i was sitting there on my mattress on the floor, thinking back a few years prior when I was imagining everything. I distinctly remember thinking to myself, "i'll have the house, so at least i'll have a roof over my head."
And there i was with not much more than a roof over my head- knowing that my thoughts are powerful and my desires can come to fruition.
The lesson was to dream bigger!
During lockdown i started to practice more Lomi with close friends. I was gaining confidence.
After lockdown, the boarder opened up to travelers, the surf retreats picked back up again. I was back in the loop as a surf instructor.
The first time I filled that position was when i was 27 or 28. it was so fun, i was in Nicaragua. That same season after Nica we had a couple retreats in Costa, and i just couldn't hang. I felt like i was exploiting this beautiful place i like to call home. ANd dont get me wrong, Surf With Amigas has brought so much to the economy here- I just personally did not like teaching surfing. I vowed back then to never work as a surf instructor again.
And then i broke my vow. When it came time to move to costa in 2020, i thought it would be worth it to try again.
But after lockdown, when work picked back up again, I was over it fast, and literally in the same week that i was completely fed up, i had a chat with one of the owners, she noticed how little i wanted to be there but it just so happened that one of the massage therapists decided to resign! this was it!
SO! i happily switched to being one of the massage therapists - and things finally began to happen for me- i was making money and feeling really good in my house. Working less, I had more time to surf myself and work on my house.
I was really happy.
Stoked to have such amazing, influential, entrepreneurial people around me.
However the career switch also lead me to want to enhance my skills.
After a season of doing massage for the Amigas, in September 2021, I decided to go to Maui for another Lomi retreat with my Kumu, at Ho'omana Spa (https://hoomanaspamaui.com/).
Little Bear had recently gotten stuck with a couple of neighborhood dogs, and she was likely pregnant.
But I thought i would only be gone for 2 weeks.
I fell deeper in love with Maui that trip. I thought to myself "i could really enjoy living here. There's more going on here than Costa Rica"
And the pull was just so strong.
Towards the end of my 2 weeks i was wanting to stay longer, and I asked for a sign.
I also asked the fella who was watching Little Bear to send me a photo.
He sent me this:
Here i was looking at my sign. Literally.
Little Bear was in Costa Rica with a Hawaiian street sign. KAMEHAMEHA, the pre-colonial unifier of the Hawaiian islands, and a road sign I see frequently in Maui.
After that i was literally given a car, a place to live and a job right down the street. And the goal was to stay for just a few more weeks until the next retreat, thinking that it was the last class that i hadn't taken yet and since i'm all the way out there already, might as well make the most out of it.
Little Bear moved home to the my house and i had friends stay with her and care take the place.
I felt like such a bad mommy, but the sign was clear and she seemed to have given me the go ahead.
She had 7 puppies and everything was ok.
It was the end of October and i decided then that i wanted to apprentice with my teacher (kumu) on Maui. This would require me moving there and basically being an unpaid employee for a year. I would receive my massage therapy license but only for the state of Hawaii.
It was a tall bargain, but in the back of my mind i was thinking that i could potentially meet the love of my life! I could find my groove and maybe live between Costa and Maui! (since the surf seasons are opposite). I thought it could be amazing.
And then I got a call from home.
Dad's back has been hurting.
Bad.
He's going to the doctors to get it checked out.
Well a couple weeks after we find out that there's a growth on his spine and it is lymphoma. He's got the cancer and is going to have to do Chemotherapy.
12 years after my mother's death and we get confronted with a new paradigm for the family. The difference is, mom's death was totally uncalled for and sudden. This immediately seemed to me like a passing situation. I knew he would be ok.
It was my birthday, and Thanksgiving; November 25, 2021 and i flew home to Florida to care take my dad while he goes through Chemo.
It started off awkward, and it was full of ups and downs. Lots of drama, lots of patience. We even contracted covid in the middle of it.
I told the family my plans to move to Maui. It wouldn't be until May 2022. Chemo will be over by then.
Everyone was freaked, but i knew the timing would work out, and everything would be ok.
In February 2022 i flew down to costa to get Little Bear. I wanted her with me in Florida and in Maui. All the puppies found good homes, and a friend of mine who works for Surf With Amigas wanted to rent out my house! this was a mini dream come true! passive income!
Me and Little Bear made it back to Florida without a hitch, and so while living at home and taking care of pops, we started the process of getting her to Hawaii. Which was time consuming, but I had some time.
Dad was really in a lot of pain, and i couldn't work on him too much. He also had blood clots and edema, so it was just a waiting game. Trusting and waiting.
As time went on i was taking my anatomy and physiology online and making moves in the direction of Maui.
Come May, dad was cancer free!
Still in a lot of pain, he was just getting his bearings. Most of is L4 was eaten away from the tumor and so there was potential for a surgery, but at this point he just needed to chill.
However it was time for me and Little to go; something that one of my older sisters will apparently never let me live down.
I left them to do this apprenticeship. My two sisters and their significant others.
I thought they could handle, there was not the same volume of doctors visits and he was beginning to be on the mend.
And they definitely did handle it. Dad was telling me to go and later told me that they were extremely over the top. For sure he's underplaying it a bit too.
It was a hard time for everyone because i was also having a tough time on Maui.
But i was on a mission. I wanted to get myself in order for the next step.
With this added education i felt more equipped to start my own business and feel more secure in my new path in Costa Rica.
But wait theres more.
Right before Christmas I got pregnant. It happened the first night i met the fella. We hung out for a couple weeks after that but once i realized that i'm looking for something else in my life i found out i was pregnant.
I've had 2 abortions in my life, and after the last one i told myself i would never get another one.
At 37 years young, I decided to have the baby in Costa Rica.
And so fast forward 6 months and we made it back home to the Zona Sur.
This blog will be about my journey from here on out!
Alli vamos!
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